By Ben Emos & Mary Jones | Saturday, May 3, 2025 | 4 min read
By all accounts, Phoebe Gates and Sophia Kianni came to pitch a startup, not a family plan. Yet in 2025, in boardrooms supposedly filled with forward-thinking venture capitalists, two young founders—one the daughter of a global tech mogul, the other a climate activist turned entrepreneur—are still being asked if they plan to “go have babies.”
Let’s be clear: this isn’t an honest curiosity about work-life balance. It’s a loaded question meant to undermine. It’s the same question Gates says drove a wedge in her last relationship, where her boyfriend reportedly questioned her career ambitions in the shadow of future motherhood. It’s also the question that, ironically, seems to follow her from the bedroom to the boardroom.
And it’s not just offensive—it’s strategic. Investors aren’t asking this to gain insight. They’re planting doubt.
A Double Standard That Won’t Die
Phoebe, 22, and Sophia, also in her early twenties, were pitching Phia, their fashion-pricing startup, when the interrogation began. Instead of talking growth metrics or tech infrastructure, they fielded concerns about fertility. On the Call Her Daddy podcast, Phoebe didn’t hold back.
“Always children,” she said, naming it the most persistent double standard she’s faced. “Investors ask us all the time, ‘Well, what happens when you two go have babies?’”
It’s a question no man her age—especially not a freshly minted founder with a Stanford degree and famous last name—would ever hear. But for women, especially young ones, ambition still triggers suspicion.
Sophia called it out when a VC asked what would happen to Phia if the duo became moms. Her response? “What’s going to happen to your venture firm when you have kids?” His confusion was her answer.
Friendship, Strategy, and Some Suspicions
Behind their professional partnership is a personal story that’s raised eyebrows. According to reports, Phoebe Gates ended her last relationship after her ex expressed sexist opinions about her future as a mother and political office. That decision, by her own admission, came with the advice—and possible influence—of Sophia.
So did Sophia want Phoebe “to herself”? Maybe not in a possessive way. But did she recognize the unique value of building something with her, especially after encouraging her to leave a relationship that may have slowed her down? That’s a far more plausible, and sharper. But even if her motivations were personal, what’s more telling is this: the very issue Sophia Kianni warned Phoebe Gates about in her personal life—the subtle, sexist assumption that a woman’s ambition must bow to future motherhood—is now stalking them both in their professional lives. The same double standard that helped end a romantic relationship is now threatening their business credibility.
“Keep a Win Sheet”—and Other Armor Against Bias
Gates’ response to the scrutiny? Document everything. She urges women to “keep a win sheet”—a running record of accomplishments, measurable impacts, and receipts of value brought to the table.
This isn’t just practical advice. It’s survival gear in a workplace culture that still treats reproductive potential like a liability.
“You can’t be on your back foot,” Phoebe said. “If you can show up and say, ‘This is what I’ve created, and this is what I deserve,’ they can’t question your commitment.”
But here’s the thing: men aren’t asked to defend their right to succeed. They don’t need win sheets to justify fatherhood. They’re assumed to be capable. Women have to prove it—twice, and then again.
What This Moment Reveals
Phoebe Gates and Sophia Kianni are navigating a minefield of expectation, scrutiny, and old-fashioned sexism disguised as investor due diligence. They’re not asking for special treatment. They’re asking to talk about their business.
But when the very people who control access to capital can’t stop wondering about your uterus, you start to realize the system isn’t just flawed—it’s actively hostile.
That Phoebe turned to her mother, Melinda French Gates—a powerhouse philanthropist and women’s rights advocate—was telling. “Get up or get out the game,” Melinda told her daughter. It was tough love, but also a grim acknowledgment: this game isn’t built for women to win.
Unless they change the rules.
The Real Issue Here
Startups rise and fall on ideas, execution, and timing. But when you’re a young woman, you also have to navigate deeply rooted biases, suspicions, and questions no man is ever asked. Phoebe Gates and Sophia Kianni didn’t sign up to be symbols. But they are. And their experience says far more about the people with the checkbooks than it does about their choices.
Because if your first question to a founder is whether she plans to procreate, you’re not investing. You’re policing. And that’s not venture capital. That’s patriarchy—dressed in Patagonia vests and pretending to be progressive.
Copyright 2025 FN, NewsRoom.
